In the past I have been brave, not because I really am brave, but because I was good at things.  I knew that I could do it.  Usually, there was much thought going into everything I did.  I was not a “hold my beer” kind of guy.  Others were sometimes impressed, but I wasn’t.  It was thought, practice and execution of what I knew I could do.

In bicycle racing, I used bike handling skills to the fullest extent to try to offset others being stronger.  I didn’t mind.  I loved that angle.

This has taken me a long way down the road in my present situation, but I fear that I am running out of tricks.  Some people are still fooled by the magic act, but I can barely move my legs now.   I can’t turn over in bed without having solid things to grab on to.

I think that my strategy of covering for, and hiding deficiencies is a very good one.   It gives a person interesting tasks to work on.  Complaining is completely useless and diminishing.   However, it is getting harder to feel as “brave” as I was before.