The Saddest thing, Late 2016, early in
Today Mary and I went for a ride on the Katy. Nice ride on a dreary fall wintery day. We had both been a bit sad throughout the day as this thanksgiving holiday did not have the traditional feel. Mary’s three children spent the holiday with their father, so not much to cook. She misses them. I do too. My family wants to gather around the sick one. Kind, but not life as we want it.
We both peddled along without much point to it. Trying to see the beauty as best we could. We did have one goal, which even though silly and trivial, seemed to lend a much, much needed dose of normalcy to our lives. There was a Seg to slay!
We had to go from Matson to the turn in on the winding gravel trail up to the top of Klondike park. We had to average 18 miles per hour.
We past Matson and I took out hard. It is difficult for me to keep my toes straight when I push hard on the pedals, but we were going fast. I could not hold it very long so I motioned Mary through. She was strong. Grabbing on and keeping up with her was a challenge! With a little rest, drafting to the best of my skill, I was able to pull again. I almost pulled her to the turn in. She past and was still strong. On the turn in, I was able to use my bike handling skill to get ahead, but on the slight uphill, I could not hold her. After the rubber band broke, I did the normal soft peddle to the finish by myself, which was further along than either of us realized.
What I did not realize is that Mary did not know that I had fallen back.
She tired and called out “I need you!” I was not there.
After seeing I wasn’t there, she started crying and said “I need you always”. Her ride was shot.
I desperately want to be there for her always.
This makes me sadder than anything else.