First, try to have a kind heart.  If you succeed, the rest then requires less mental effort, less need to cover up. Not that I personally succeed at this, but I try.  My wish has always been for this approach to allow me/us to be more honest with each other, allow us to cut the BS, not waste time with agendas or hiding the symptoms.  Sometimes a kind heart can have bristly edges, sharp points that I don’t feel belong there. Where do they come from? I don’t feel that the prickly parts are the essence, but sometimes I sense that others might disagree.   I feel that we all have prickly parts. Perhaps the smart people learn to wrap them in tissue paper, but I think that the points always find a way of wearing through, especially when it rains.