You simply get tired of it: There is no single thought or string of words that deals with our more serious and passionate aspects of life. How small and boring life would be if that were true. So we continue to take swipes at them, with our logic, in our mood, our songs, poetry.

Lake Louise, Me

Love dominates song and poetry, of course. Love has a lot of uses in our survival and continuation, plus it’s just plain nice, has purpose.

Mortality takes a backseat in our thoughts when we’re healthy, and the way it should be. Our intelligence gives us the ability to perseverate about it, however, even though there is little use in that. Much song and aspects of culture are devoted to it. Obsessing over it is inevitable when a sense of date, or time stamp suddenly gets attached to it. Long or short, it’s the erasing of vagueness that causes the jolt. Moods swing, but I don’t think about it as much as I used to, even though I’m closer now.

You just get tired of it.

I can’t tell you how long it takes to get tired of it. Getting tired of it is not all or nothing, it is a continuum. It’s taken me six years to get as tired of it as I have become. Can this be sped up? I wouldn’t know how.

Also, realize that I am talking about being tired of perseverating about it, I am not tired of living, laughing, loving. The desire and effort to keep going remain, just, one can sometimes get used to a smaller amount of vagueness. Is this denial? Who cares.