My mother, Frances Helen Eckert Frei, spent much time, ever since I was a child, proclaiming “My memory’s gone”. We used to laugh at that as she was always the one to go to and ask “Mom did you see where I put my…”, and she would always know. Despite her complaining, her memory was truly awesome. Later in life she actually started to forget things and we became worried.  At one point, when it was becoming clear that she was starting to get Alzheimer’s, I found her on the porch crying and saying “oh lordy lordy, I’m losing my mind, what’s going to become of me?” That also coincided with her never again saying “I’m losing my memory”. Now, she was covering. 

 I am not losing my mind, but I’m finding myself in the same “oh lordy lordy” circumstance. ‘What’s going to become me?’ 

One can do without a great number of things.  I’ve been on a continual study of this for the last three years, but when you can no longer reach for things, when the breathing starts to get labored and the breathing assist machine is isolating, it starts a whole new round of “oh lordy lordy. What’s going…”.

With lack of control comes uncertainty and worry, in any time of life. Without the “team” that consists of my wife and I, can’t even imagine.