I find myself staring at things. Mary is starting to have to feed me, reposition my covers, do most everything now. This tends to make you give up on whatever it was that you were wanting to do. You have no choice when it is not possible. I need the powers of Yoda.
Typing is out except for on my phone, which is how I’m getting this done now. Sometimes I use voice to text. Though my mouth is working, Speaking is becoming more labored as breathing is getting weak and I tend to cough whenever I try to speak.
The crux of all this is, I find it difficult to not withdraw in this situation. Everything in life in the past has been working toward something or other, whether that be big or small. I’m running low on ideas of what to work towards.
Many people make it a mission to work on their medical care, but that runs the risk of becoming what they think about, talk about. Though this can be a full time endeavor, I have difficulty embracing it, at least thus far. My mission in life is not to reach the maximum number of heartbeats.